confirmance:

me: man i love people maybe i’m not as introverted as i thought, i can be around people forever

me exactly one hour later: no

sapphireswimming:

ubercharge:

siketreeker:

showerthoughtsofficial:

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

rokisimo:

botanicalwitch:

once a lady told me that if my plants are dying even when I’m caring for them correctly, it means they’re absorbing the curses my enemies are casting upon me. so now when my plants randomly die, I wonder if they died protecting me.

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